I find this subject to be a bit taboo. There’s two different types of moms here, and they rarely ever mix. Even in social situations, the two types rarely mesh. This is something I’ve struggled with understanding. I’m not here to say they one works harder than the other. I often at times feel like I’ve got 2 full time jobs having both to do. SAHM’s work pretty hard. Their day starts and ends all about the kids. For me, work is a break from that, and I appreciate my kids more from it.
On one side, you have the mother who struggles with going to work and having to leave her babies in the hands of another person to keep them safe. Some are lucky enough to have family, so the worried feeling you get is more about feeling guilty you’re not there for their every moment.
Often, there’s a bit of jealousy of what the other has. One gets to spend time with their kids and not have to miss out on their activities, while the other gets to get out there and away from the kids enough to not feel smothered, or that their only conversations were in 3 year old talk.
For me, I prefer the working mom role. I’ve done both. I was a stay at home for almost 3 years with my oldest, and for the first year and a half of my youngest’s life. I didn’t dislike being home with them, but I was always the type who had 2 jobs and went to school. As much as I love my children, I find that I love then even more if I get to be away from them.
Now my biggest confusion about the two is, why don’t they mingle? When I was home with my daughter, I had friends who were home with their kids too. We got together and our kids played, it was fun. Same for when I was home with my son. I had friends were were SAHM’s, but as soon as I went back to work, that romance ended and I was not a part of that “click” anymore. I’ve ask them what changed, and none really had an answer. Some were too busy, others just had their mom groups. Still, why can’t the two mingle? I’ve talked with other friends who work and were SAHM’s, and they experienced the same thing, so I know there has got to be some sort of connection. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out.
Have you experienced this?